22 Feb The Reason I haven’t SHARED my children’s lives…
As mentioned in the title…I have children, two of them in fact. A 3 year old and a 2 year old. They are girls and they are cute, funny, exhausting, naughty, loud, messy, entertaining and my full time job.
However those that are my Facebook friends, don’t see them much, if at all. They possibly couldn’t even tell you their names or what they look like. You see I’m hesitant to expose my girls to the online world. The online world which is full of “Look what {insert name here} did today at school” “I cant believe {insert name here} did that again arrrrggghhh#mumlife” “toilet training #FML #mumlife” or the simple “My angel, the best thing in my world, Perfect”
Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with the above status updates or hashtags. But when do we stop? As our little boy graduates high school and loses his virginity at the school ball do we tell the whole Internet that too? Do we tell the world when our little girl becomes a woman? I shudder to think what would have been written about me growing up had my mother had the Internet let alone Facebook. You see I don’t need to worry or think about that, as I highly doubt she would have felt the need to share.
Part of me wants to shelter and protect my girls from the obsession and unhealthy world of the Internet. But then am I a hypocrite as I use the Internet and Facebook myself and for my business? The online world is useful and at times a necessity.
I don’t look at my girls and then feel the need to immediately jump on FACEBOOK and state “My girls are my world, gosh they are amazing and beautiful” why do we need all our supposed friends to validate that feeling or emotion? Or when they disappoint me or misbehave my first thought is not to take a photo and shame them online so that my supposed friends can reassure me I’m not the only one.
Ill admit at times in the past I may have made any of these types of posts…however I do believe I did this rarely.
Do we over share our children’s lives just to satisfy our own need for someone to say “your doing great, you’re the best mum ever” are we looking for validation from the internet as we doubt our own thoughts, feelings and opinions? Do we all in this world now RELY on what other people think of us to determine whether what we are doing is right?
Is this why mums are so judgmental of each other, why we criticise each other, fear of being shown up?
Anyway so I guess I don’t share much of my children for fear of them being judged and scrutinised. Being a teenager who was bullied, I can’t even begin to imagine what that is like now with the Internet involved. I guess I want to protect them as much as I can, but I also want to share those memories with those close to me, not the entire world.
Another reason for my decision not to share…Internet security. You may argue “but I only share it with my “close friends” or “family”
However do you know their friends? If you tag people you are effectively sharing it with all of their friends too. It only takes a right click or a hold down of a finger on a photo for it to be saved onto that persons phone or computer. This again triggers fears for me as we really have no idea where our photos end up or who they end up with. We are also putting a lot of trust in FACEBOOK, INSTAGRAM, TWITTER…the list goes on. We don’t know who is behind these platforms or even what they use our “private” photos for. Let’s be realistic have you read their privacy terms and conditions and if you have, do you understand them?
Even if our photos are safe, I worry for my children’s choice. They don’t have a say in whether I post things of them or about them. Do they deserve a choice before there is an online footprint in their name?
I’m the first to admit I worry what others think of me…a lot! But its time to get over it, let go and just love life, love yourself, love your kids and just be the mum you know how to be. No on else is you, no one else is the mum you are and no one else has your kids.
X Darcy LAYNE