12 Jun Importance of Connection
I spent my life growing up around animals, in particular horses. From the beginning, like any rider knows, you are taught that your feelings are transferred through your seat to the horse. If your relaxed, the horse is relaxed. If your anxious,
It is transferred through to the horse and it tenses up. This is common knowledge for many and as a rider we don’t simply sit on the horse and make it do things but rather we spend years developing a bond with them and an understanding of the animal as an individual. Fast forward to Motherhood and I only wish I had transferred this past wisdom into my earlier parenting. We accept animals are sensitive and pick up on our emotions. We all know how energy effects dogs and how they can pick up on storms before they happen and how they can often tell better than us how we are feeling. This we all accept but we fail to accept the same is true for our children. We are taught from society that they are naughty and deliberately disobeying us when we accept that a horse is intune with us enough to be effected by our emotions, thoughts and feelings. We recognize here that it is simply energy they are picking up on yet we fail to see the same effects on our own flesh and blood. I wish that I had used this knowledge in my early parenting days. Everyone tells you animals are intuitive but we think it’s silly when we apply the wisdom to our children. Everyone tells you when you have a baby that “breast is best” and as a mother who has breastfed all of my children I am aware of the benefits, however, they fail to tell you that the energy you breastfeed with is the energy that is then passed on to your child. They fail to tell you that as an anxious first time mother who is filled with worry and doubt, that you will pass all of those feelings on through your milk. People wonder then why there are so many unsettled, screaming babies who then get labelled as having colic. Instead of the mothers reconnecting with them, they disconnect more in fear that they are doing something wrong, blame themselves and there starts the vicious cycle. As the child grows, they long for connection and the only way they know how to ask is through attention. Just like a dog in fear of a storm needs comfort, so too does the child who is in fear of their surroundings because they feel disconnection. We so often cuddle our dogs and kiss our horses but we hold frustration when it comes to our kids. We have patience in training an animal but we forget children need time themselves to learn. We understand that all animals respond better with love but we are taught differently when it comes to our precious offspring. I am grateful that I have come to learn awareness and I feel it is better to be late than not at all. If I was a new mother all over again I would spend my days connecting with my children, I would use tools to help me to relax and I would trust my small inner voice over the random opinion of others. I hope to empower all mothers on my journey but especially new mothers, I hope to hold their hand through the uncertainty, to reassure them through difficulty and to help them to learn to trust their wisdom and deepen their connection with their precious baby.
About the Author
My name is Tamlyn (Mama Yogi Tam) and I am a wife and mother to 3 beautiful children. I am passionate about empowering women to dedicate time themselves using holistic tools so they can “fill their cup” and best self. I believe self care is the key to happier, healthier families as we all learn to take care own needs in a loving and positive way.