No steps here

I won’t lie. Being a step parent is hard. It’s the hardest job in the world. It’s the most thankless, unappreciated role I’ve ever had. And not because the kids don’t appreciate me. Not because their dad doesn’t appreciate me. Not because their paternal family doesn’t appreciate me. There is so much love and appreciation and thanks from them. Mountains of it. It’s everything else that makes it hard: the kids are the easy part. It’s the goodbyes that are hard. It’s the switching of rules and boundaries, of expectations. It’s the lack of consistency. It’s trying to spread yourself around quickly and evenly for four days a week between four beautiful kids. It’s a role with a terrible stigma. Disney has painted us as evil. But we are mostly anything but. The love I have for my two bonus children is endless. Just like the love I have for my own biological children. They are merely little extensions of a man I love and are a welcomed blessing and bonus. We don’t like to use the word step in our home. We are family. The only steps here, are those leading to our door. The sadness in my kids eyes is heart breaking when their siblings leave- but the look of pure joy and excitement when we get them back is totally heart warming and worth every difficult bump and obstacle that faces us as a labeled “broken family.” We are anything but broken. We are strong; A broken family is an unhappy one and we are anything but unhappy. Four children being raised by two happy parents in love, is better than two lots of two children being raised by two sets of parents who despise each other and are miserable. It’s hard to understand this mix mash of family when you’ve not experienced it. I always tried so hard to keep the family I created together- but it wasn’t for me- I tried so hard for everyone else- trying to prove a point. Trying to make, as my dad would say- strawberry jam out of pig shit. I thought it was good for my children but it was only toxic and it was a cycle that many can’t break: I broke it: and I know one day in the future my children will thank me. They’ll thank me for removing them from a hostile and unhappy home and placing them in one of love! ❤


About the Author

I’m from Bellingen on the mid north coast of NSW.
I’m a Primary School Teacher but am currently on maternity leave being a Mumma to my two little babes- Indiana and Beau. Indiana was born 7 weeks preemie in September 2014 and Beau was 2 weeks early in May 2016.
They also have an older half brother who we don’t see much anymore, since his dad and I split. At the moment through, I’m enjoying being a sole parent to two beautiful and amazing little humans.