Dear Third Son

Dear Third Son, how do I tell you that you have helped me open my eyes and appreciate every single moment with you and your brothers? How do I thank you for teaching me to not worry if the house isn’t spotless every minute of the day because I can tidy up in the afternoon when you have a nap, after-all, playing with you and your brothers or getting some extra cuddles is so much more important and fun? How do I tell you that you have made me feel so different as a mum and that feeling has helped me be an even better mother for all three of you? How do I even begin to articulate the high feeling that some women get when they have purchased something new, is the very same feeling I have whenever I think of you or your brothers. I want to stamp it on my tshirt and let the world know that I am your mother and wear that title with sheer pride.

Dear Third Son, how do I express that I am not at all disappointed that I had you, another boy, and that it doesn’t bother me that others seem disappointed for me that you are not a girl? When will you understand that the inconsiderate comments on your gender says more about that person than it does about me and we are blessed to have you in our lives. Your presence is not taken for granted and every day I get the honour of witnessing first hand just how chuffed two other little human’s are that they have a baby brother to join in their fun. How do I help you see that I wanted another baby and was glad when I saw and held you for the first time? When can I let you know that I look forward to kicking the soccer ball with you too and teaching you how to ride a bike for the first time like I did with your brothers? Or that I look forward to raising you to be a respectful, loving and humble young man who knows that you are adored by everyone around you. When can I tell you all of this?

Dear Third Son, how do I tell you that this unconditional love you express to me everyday in your sweet gestures, mannerisms, the way you nestle in to my shoulders, communicate with me through your baby talk, and furniture surfing ways is felt by me for you ten fold? In time I will somehow let you know that the raw emotions I feel when I see you for the first time each morning, and at the end of the day when I put you to sleep at night, sometimes suffocate me. They suffocate me but somehow I am still breathing.

Dear Third Son, when will I get to describe every single one of your features or even sketch your face to perfection because your image is embedded in my brain for good?
When will the time be right to tell you that you have enriched our lives, made us a happier and more complete family? When can I tell you that you have allowed me to make mistakes as your mum and I am okay with that. You have shown me that through the tears and hard times there is a smile waiting to be seen and a face that needs to be kissed. You have opened up my eyes to a whole new way of parenting and helped me see that it is okay to slow down and savour the moments. This acceptance makes me want to press ‘slow pause’ three times so I can get to enjoy each one of my little boys for a while longer and really treasure our time together. All this because of you.

Dear Third Son, your very existence and the beautiful milestones you are reaching helps reignite the beautiful memories I have of experiencing these firsts with your brothers. Watching you makes me reminisce on important things like first words and first steps that I marveled at with the two boys before you. Thank you for flooding my mind with cherished moments and my heart with an endless love beyond words.

Dear Third Son, you have made everything different and I see that as a good thing all because of you. How do I stop the natural reaction of my heart filling with love and my face lighting up like a Christmas tree when anyone asks how you are doing? The answer to this is that I don’t! I don’t my Dear Third Son because you have re-opened my heart to a big bubble of pure, gut wrenching and unconditional love that I feel for you and your brothers. It is because of you that I have felt more strong, capable, determined and appreciative of the important role and responsibility that I have to earn the title of ‘mum’ to my three little men.

Dear Third Son, I have so many questions that right now, don’t even need answers because I believe they will come in time. For now, I will treasure this precious time I have with you to watch you grow and see the complete adoration two other little human’s have for you. I will enjoy watching your brother’s shower you with love, affection, attention and care for you like you are their responsibility. I can do this because I understand that you feel the very same towards them and together we have completed our little party of five.

Dear Third Son, thank you from the very bottom of my heart for making us all so very happy, thank you for allowing your older brothers to play with you and guide you as you try and take your first steps on your own, thank you for returning the love we all have for you by rewarding us with your smile and affectionate ways, thank you for helping me enjoy my role as ‘mum of three boys’ and thank you most of all for simply being you.