16 Jul The Guilt of Formula Feeding

When I found out I was pregnant I was so excited about the prospect of being a mum and all the things that come along with it. Yes that includes dirty nappies, vomit, lack of sleep and all of those new trials and tribulations that accompany being a parent. From the get go I was dead set on Breast feeding. You get bombarded with the message that Breast is best (which I totally agree with) I was totally on board the Breast train.

What I didn’t think of was the fact what if for some reason I couldn’t breast feed. With my blinders on, I continued on my journey to motherhood. When I finally became a mum and had my son I breastfed for a few minutes before having to go into surgery. Which meant I was away from my son for three hours.

When I came back I tried breast feeding, he would suck but become really upset due to the fact nothing was coming through. At the twenty four hour mark of unsuccessful feedings I had to make the decision of supplementing formula or a feeding tube up his nose. Of course I chose supplementing.

My son was in heaven feeding away. While I was sitting there in hell feeling guilty. Guilty that my body couldn’t do what it is made for. Guilty I couldn’t feed my son. Guilty thinking that I failed as a mum. Why? Why won’t the milk come. There were midnight calls to my poor hubby where I was breaking down due to this. My hubby was there for me comforting me and with words of wisdom. He said who cares whether you are breast feeding or formula feeding as long as he is eating that is all that matters.

That is when I realised that he was right it didn’t matter how I was feeding my child as long as I was feeding him and he was healthy and growing. No matter how gut wrenching it was to make the decision, I knew I was doing the right thing for my son and my own sanity. So some of my guilt subsided as I looked at my baby drinking out of a bottle draining as much as he could. Before I left hospital with the support and backing of my husband we chose to exclusively formula feed as we both knew he was getting all of the nutrients he needed to grow.

I needed to look at the positives of the situation in order to push through. My son had regained his birth weight, he was content, had a full tummy and hubby could bond with his son by feeding him.

Even after we went home there was still guilt and shame that I felt. Which would come through when people realized I was formula feeding they would be like oh you’re formula feeding, with that judgemental look (this from strangers by the way) you do know Breast is best! Argghhh I ended up hating this saying that is advertised everywhere. On the outside I held up a strong front but on the inside I was still feeling the guilt and shame but as time went on and my son grew to have chubby cheeks and continued to put on weight, it faded and now I truly believe and feel that feeding is best whether it is breast or formula as long as they are growing and healthy that is all that matters.

For mums to be the one thing I would like to pass on is that as a mum you will at sometime feel like you don’t know what you are doing, but you will learn, you will adapt, you know what’s best for your child because you are a mother.

For help with breastfeeding I would recommend BreastFeeding.asn.au

For help with formula feeding I found helpful Baby Center – Formula Feeding and Pregnancy Birth Baby

About the Author

Hi my name is Samantha S. I am a first time mum of a one year old son. Currently I am a stay at home mum. Previously I worked in the Early childhood sector for 8 years. I enjoy attempting to make healthy homemade meals and snacks for my son. I also enjoy trying new art and craft activities with my son.

Website:http://zachsmum.blogspot.com/