29 Feb The infamous return to work

As I type this I can’t believe how ironic it is that I’m writing about returning to work on one of my golden days off. My son, Teddy, is zooming round the lounge alternating between using a musical walker and the vacuum cleaner, and I’m thinking I’m one lucky lady.
It’s hard to believe that 10 months ago I was shedding tears over leaving work and heading into the unknown world of motherhood, and yet in the blink of an eye I’m back.
And just like that it feels as though nothing has changed, yet like everything has.
I’m one of those strange people that actually enjoys my job, and when I was pregnant just simply couldn’t fathom the idea of “not working”. I’m going to put that in quote marks because I was one of those naive people who didn’t realise what it meant to be a mum.
I remember thinking, I’ve never not worked, what will I do? How will I cope?
Little did I know I would never work harder in my life.
I had a couple of weeks to myself before Teddy made his grand entrance and before I knew it I’d hit the ground running.
About six months in people started asking, “so, when are you going back to work?” And I’d say January and they’d say that was great and nine months off was a great amount of time and how lucky I was etc etc.
Yet actually going back has been a whole different ball game. Now I’m getting comments like “oh, aren’t you taking a year off?” Or, and this is said with a cringing face, “are you putting him in childcare?” Like its some kind of prison for babies.
My response, which I’m sure you can imagine is a whole lot different in my head but probably can’t be printed, is that financially it’s better for me to work and I’m lucky it’s only part-time.
Anyway, that’s just one side of it – the judgemental and nosey part.
The other side is actually getting up and going to work.
The week before I started back I felt a range of emotions.
Fear – What if I had lost the ability to do my job? What if Teddy hated daycare? What if it was all too much and I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t be a working mum?
Anger – Why should I have to go back? Why haven’t I won the lotto yet?
Happiness – I get to wear nice clothes again and lipstick! I get to talk to adults all day. I get to eat my lunch and go to the bathroom ALONE. And I get to go back to doing something I love.
Sad – What if I miss a major milestone? What if something happens and I’m not there to give my baby a hug and make it better?
As it turns out, the first week came and went and it was fine. I couldn’t tell you what happened, but it was fine.
The key was being organised.
>From having dinners sorted, to washing hung out in the evening and even outfits laid out the night before made all the difference.
Now don’t get me wrong, no one is allowed over to my house from Monday to Wednesday due to health and safety reasons, but we make it work.
And if I’m honest, I enjoy it. It’s chaos, and I miss my baby like crazy, but I love the excitement and that the days are so different, and come Thursday I’m just about bursting at the seams to hang out with my lunatic of a child.
So I’ll leave you with this, do whatever works for you and your family, don’t listen to the silly comments people will make, and if you are going back to work, just breathe – you’ll probably be pleasantly surprised.