21 Aug Happily Ever After
When I was 21 I fell pregnant with a little blessing. A beautiful baby to call my own.
I had just moved out of home with my partner at the time and it was a week later we found out I was pregnant. I wish I could say this was a happy story but before we get to the happy ending like every fairy-tale we have to travel down a dark path first.
Prior to moving out we had only recently got back together after a 3 month break. We weren’t even sure if we wanted to be together again but decided to give the relationship one last chance. The pregnancy came as a shock and it’s safe to say the minute I walked into the bedroom that morning, clutching the stick with those two bold lines screaming PREGNANT PREGNANT… our relationship was over.
We stayed together up until my son was three years old but finally enough was enough. We each played our part in the fall of this relationship, I claim no innocence, but his emotional abuse, late booze soaked nights in seedy bars and complete neglect of our relationship and our son became too much.
Leaving him was the most terrifying and liberating thing I have ever done. My son and I were finally free. Free from that toxic house and all the negative energy that filled the air like a thick veil of smoke.
I fell in love with my son all over again and our bond only grew stronger.
It would be a lie to say it were easy. Easy to leave. Easy to be a single mum. It wasn’t easy and there are still times now where it isn’t easy. But I wouldn’t change it for the world. After 6 months living in a unit in a grubbier suburb near my ex I made the choice to pack up and move back to where I grew up as a teenager. To the trees and the hills, the rustic little cottages and the beautiful nature filled parks. A place we could call home.
It was after this move I finally started to find myself again. For many years I had felt very lost, was led to believe being a mother wasn’t enough and I had lost my identity. But I was back and I had my little side kick with me. We would spend my days off work and his off pre-school exploring. Going to all the national parks, hunting for smurfs and fairies. Learning about our local wildlife. Summer walks to buy ice cream and pick dandelions. Winters spent in historic cafes by the open fire sipping hot chocolate. We had each other, we were happy.
I look back now and I truly appreciate the journey I have been through. As hard as it was it built me to be a stronger person, it has taught my son never to settle in life if you’re unhappy. I am so proud of the little boy I raised. He is kind, funny and caring. He is by no means easy himself he’s quite the handful, but he is my handful. He fills my heart with warmth and he has shaped me to be the woman and mother I am today. He is a gift.
Leaving a relationship that is toxic is hard but staying is even harder. Allows follow your heart, never stay where you know you don’t belong. Life is simply too short to settle for anything less than what you deserve. I now live in the hills with my beautiful boy, my husband and our toddler. It took me awhile to find it but they are my happy ending.
About the Author
Hi, my name is Brittany. A wife and mother of two boys. I take a raw honest approach to parenthood and I love to share special moments from our wonderland. I use writing as a tool for honest story telling and a means of therapy. When in doubt, write it out. Motherhood is a wonderful blend of calm and chaos fulled by kisses and wine xx